May 2012
28 posts
I am getting sick
and that makes me so angry.
4 tags
I am NEVER on Tumblr
why do you people continue to follow me?
No, really?
People like to say
brokenlanguage:
“Oh, I understand hot. It gets hot where I live, too.”
I apologize to everyone who doesn’t live in Florida…wait, no, I don’t. Because none of you are forced to live on the SURFACE OF THE FUCKING SUN. You want hot? Come here in MARCH. You want to see infants burst into flames and dogs explode? Come here in August.
Right now, the sun is boiling the water in the clouds while it...
If I ever have a son
I think I will name him Henry.
No, I must have a son so that I can name him Henry.
3 tags
Why is it
That when I’m watching porn on my laptop I don’t get bogged down in smutty popups hardly at all, but when I’m downloading Starwars (not even Starwars-themed porn, just regular ole Phanom Menace) the internets all “Hey man, wanna watch some really ugly couple fuck? No? You sure? Here, look at some tits real quick. How about now? Still no? Well I think you should look at some...
I cannot make this shit up
eviljason:
I was taking my morning piss when a yellow butterfly flew out of the toilet and landed on the head of my dick. It remained there through the end of my session then merrily fluttered away.
I think this means I am a wizard.
How do you do math homework without crying
“The Octomom just filmed her first porn movie. In fact, it had the only opening...”
– Conan O’Brian (via animalsandmonsters)
5 tags
This was going to be a post about how I really...
papasfritas:
And I was going to look all happy while enjoying it.
And then I burnt the hell out of my tongue…
Now I hate Ramen again.
Cackling!
10 Very Rare Cloud Formations
probslikeevenwhat:
1. Nacreous Clouds
2. Mammatus Clouds
3. Altocumulus Castelanus
4. Noctilucent Clouds
5. Mushroom Clouds
6. Cirrus Kelvin-Helmholtz
7. Lenticular Clouds
8. Roll Clouds
9. Shelf Clouds
10. Stratocumulus Clouds
I'm coming off a shit ton of Adderall
and I feel a sack of smashed assholes.
April 2012
54 posts
hyperboliceleste asked: I hate your theme, but i love you a lot so its okay.
I am unhappy.
Yeah.
1 tag
Does anyone else think Guillermo (from Weeds) is...
Mmh, and Conrad. Jesus, I need help.
Black girls
Why are you all so much prettier than us white girls?
Not fucking fair
Betty Draper
jeucebocks:
Is so damn annoying, I want to drop kick her.
Holy fuck, seriously
My boobs have never been so comfortable
Every one should wear mom bras every day forever
White people with dreadlocks. Seriously, what are...
deadbreadie:
Every time I see a white person (normally a woman) with like, half a head of dreadlocks, I just want to shout at them “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I mean, I just think white people wearing them is weird and silly looking to begin with, but really, only half your head? Go big or go home. I’ll take you a little more seriously when it doesn’t look like you gave up halfway through.
It’s like...
I miss the wide-eyed, adventurous, intelligent...
When I was sixteen. I am so much lonelier without her.
A few minutes ago I noticed that my dreads felt a...
And I was like fuck, why does my hair weigh 500 pounds?
….and then I realized there was a python sleeping my dreads
I just dont even care
I mean, I tried to care. I guess I just hate you.
Creme Brulee ice cream for breakfast
because fuck you